


At the last it bites like a serpent

by awintersrose, shipcat



Series: If I cannot serve in heaven [2]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Dark Humor, M/M, Minor Character Death, Orochimaru isn't the only thing that gets wrecked, allusions to sex, mature themes, the morning after
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-31
Updated: 2018-03-31
Packaged: 2019-04-16 10:51:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14163225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/awintersrose/pseuds/awintersrose, https://archiveofourown.org/users/shipcat/pseuds/shipcat
Summary: After a night of wild passion, Kakuzu and Orochimaru make a swift escape from the hotel before anyone charges them with the destruction of private property. Needless to say, they are permanently banned.





	At the last it bites like a serpent

**Author's Note:**

> Direct sequel to [A Deal with the Devil](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14093358).

 

The front desk is a picture of quiet as the young attendant takes her place and begins her day, with a smile and a cup of hot tea in hand. She hums to herself as she gathers paperwork and peruses the list of guests checking out of the hotel, just as out of nowhere, two men in dark cloaks arrive at the desk without making as much as a sound.

"Ah!" The attendant jumps in fright, squeaking as her tea splashes all over her blouse, and sheets of rice paper fly into the air around her.

"G-good morning sirs!"

The smaller, feminine man chuckles condescendingly at her greeting as he leans against the other, a fine piece of shredded fabric wrapped around his throat. Purpling and green bite marks dot his skin, each varying in brightness and intensity as they disappear under his coat. His hair is haphazardly brushed - neat, but with the sort of wavy texture that comes from sleeping on wet hair.

It looks as if he tangled with a wild animal, lost, then hastily threw on his clothes and pretended to be the victor. He is certainly cocky enough, as he grins at her like the cat that ate the canary.

The taller man stares at her, unimpressed. His hair is similarly mussed, carelessly stuffed behind a mask and forehead protector. He reaches into his sleeve, decorated with swirling red clouds, throws a room key onto the counter next to several tea-soaked documents.

"Room 810," he grunts. He turns on his heel and stalked towards the exit before she could say anything else.

Shaken and trying to clean up the mess, the attendant scrambles to catch the key, calling a hasty, "Have a nice day!" after the guests.

She nabs it, then grimaces as something that is decidedly not tea smears on her hand in a lurid shade of rusty red. She looks toward the door and the two men are gone, as if they had never been there.

Grabbing a tissue from her desk, she cleans up her hand and the key, then sets to finishing the checkout process. The paperwork lists nothing more than a single name, 'Donyoku', staying one night with a guest. The man paid cash upfront, as many of their guests do, but the attendant finds it curious that he did not even ask for his deposit to be returned. No one leaves money behind without good reason, so it can only mean one thing. A mess. She rings a bell for housekeeping to be alerted, then files the paperwork.

"Room 810," she advises the maid, before leaving to start another pot of tea.

Ten minutes later, an elderly couple ambles up to her desk. This time she is not surprised but sets down her second cup of tea.

“Good morning!” she chirps. “I hope you enjoyed your stay. Will you be checking out this morning?”

The poor little granny gives her a weary smile, and nudges her husband with her elbow. He jerks awake, blinking wildly.

“Oh! Well we didn’t get much sleep, you see. There was a lot of noise next door,” the man says nervously, taking off his spectacles to wipe them with his sleeve.

“What room were you in?” the attendant asks, trying to remain calm, rifling through the pile of papers, and looking for their receipts.

“809.” he says, and her blood runs cold.

“What happened?”

“Some kinda fight, I tell you!”

“Oh, my stars! It honestly went on over and over, off and on throughout the night. Crashing and banging, and at one point it sounded like someone was getting murdered! I do hope they are alright, “ the wife sighs, shaking her head in disbelief.

The attendant gulps nervously. "I - I am so sorry for the inconvenience - "

A bone-chilling screech rips across the courtyard, echoing through the stone building.

The two watch the panicked attendant rush off.

"Perhaps we should have called the police, Kentarou..." The wife says solemnly to her husband. He nods solemnly, chin dipping to his chest... and begins to sleep once more.

* * *

 

The door to the room has been flung open by the maid, who had apparently fainted in fright. The attendant gingerly steps over her, crunching broken glass into the carpet - and immediately gasps, one hand covering her mouth in shock.

A mess wouldn't even begin to describe room 810.

The queen sized beds have been pushed together, though the bed frames are shattered beyond repair. All of the bed linens are torn in countless places, like the cloth around the smaller man’s neck, stained with blood and other sticky substances best left to the imagination.

Glass crunches under her feet as she makes her way further into the wreckage. The lamp is in pieces on the floor, most of it anyway, the base dangling from the broken bedside table, sparks jumping from the outlet where it is still plugged in behind the bed. There are blood trails all over one of the walls, leading into the bathroom, where the scene becomes even more harrowing.

There are two hand-shaped craters gouged out of the countertop, and broken tiles are littered everywhere the attendant looks. The floor is covered in water and red-streaked towels, and the bench in the shower is cracked and collapsed down the middle.

The attendant stumbles out of the bathroom, light-headed.

“Cops,” she mutters to herself, heading past the splintered bed frames and toward the nightstand. “I need to call the cops.”

She is climbing over the crushed mattress towards the phone when something sharp nicks her foot.

A lump of nerves leaps to the back of her throat, constricting her airway so tightly that she is forced to swallow her dread head on. It slides down her esophagus, heavy like a boulder, and settles in her stomach as fear. Terror.

She makes herself look down.

There, stabbing through the wooden sole of her sandal is a senbon needle - sharp, deadly, and covered in a strange, iridescent color. There is a paperthin, near invisible scratch between the first toe and the second, where the skin is already starting to turn purple and black.

Deep down, she already knows it’s too late.

When the maid finally regains consciousness, she sees the attendant’s corpse. And screams.

* * *

 

Hours later and many miles away from a nondescript town containing a very unfortunate hotel, Orochimaru and Kakuzu stop to recalibrate and ready themselves for their next assignment. Simple bounty collecting it may be, but Orochimaru is insistent on being well prepared for all eventualities, and he knows his partner shares that sentiment. After all, one never knows what they might find when encountering other missing-nin; there may be manifold opportunities to sate his ceaseless curiosities.

Their belongings are intact, with exception of his haori and Kakuzu’s cowl, which went missing during the activities of the night before, and his weapons pouch is oddly light. After a moment perusing the contents, Orochimaru realizes what is missing.

“Kakuzu-san, I do believe my senbon were left behind,” he says mildly. “You would not have happened to have anything to do with that, would you?"

"You must have forgotten them."  Kakuzu clicks open the metal lock on his briefcase. He recalls his hand on Orochimaru's ankle, the scent of musk and sex permeating throughout the room, and the muffled tinkle of the senbon needles as they dropped onto the carpet.  The memories of their coupling flit through his mind, unbidden but impossible to forget.

First, on the bed with several sake-flavored kisses. Then again, Orochimaru’s legs knotted about his waist, panting low into Kakuzu’s ear, stamping a red imprint of his partner’s form over the walls.

Once more, in the bathroom, bending Orochimaru over the sink, Kakuzu’s hands braced against the counter, his nose buried into the back of the smaller man’s neck. Being stunned by the vision of Orochimaru in the mirror - pupils blown, cheeks stained crimson - as Kakuzu comes inside him. Pulling away from the other only to find pieces of the counter crumbling in his hands.

Again, unexpectedly, when they are trying to get clean. In one moment, watching Orochimaru bend down to get something, then in the next he is riding Kakuzu’s cock. Breaking the bench, moving outside the shower and fucking Orochimaru in a bed of towels. Leaving the tile cracked and the bathroom flooded.

At last, in the beds. Five times in total. Orochimaru glancing over a sliver of his pale shoulder - cold and gleaming like the crescent moon. Questioning Kakuzu’s promise to push the beds together. “Are you not the devil?”

He remembers, in vivid detail, shaking his partner awake; the slow, sleepy smile that had curled on Orochimaru’s lips - then his hidden outrage when Kakuzu shoved him into his cloak and rushed him out of the room, ignoring the metallic glints in the morning light in his haste to leave.

Orochimaru hums thoughtfully, breaking Kakuzu from his thoughts, and meeting his eyes. He can sense the heat rising on his partner’s face, smell the faint traces of lust radiating in the air between them. Kakuzu may hide his expressions behind a mask, but it is clear to Orochimaru what he might be thinking about.

"Those senbon were dipped in an extract of aconite... I suppose they will just have to be replaced."

“Then replace them.”

"That poison is rather expensive."

"If they are so expensive, then you should take better care of your things."

Orochimaru brushes a hand through his hair, a breeze fanning through the dark locks. "Hard to take care of things when _someone else_ is in control of them."

Kakuzu glances at the ragged cloth tied around Orochimaru’s neck, the teeth-shaped indentations on his pale chest, and the shadows underneath his eyes. Satisfaction blooms in his own chest, but with it comes a tinge of near-guilt. Hardly much at all, but enough to make him pause.

Kakuzu lets out a long, exasperated sigh and begins picking through the briefcase, counting the notes again and again. They are short, painfully so. Once Pein took the Akatsuki's cut, they would certainly be in the red.

Standing up, Kakuzu snaps the briefcase shut and throws it behind his shoulder.  "In two days, we are returning to the Hot Water base to obtain funds and supplies. We will borrow some poisons from some of Akasuna's stores then."

"Now, now, it's not worth risking both our lives over. Sasori-san is...temperamental about his poisons. I'll improvise."

Kakuzu snorts. “Akasuna is always ‘temperamental’. To say the least.”

“I’m only interested in getting caught in strings of my own choosing.” Orochimaru passes in front of Kakuzu with a slight flourish, golden eyes darting back to peer at his partner. “I can make more when we pass through Rice Paddy country.”

Pebbles and dirt crunch under Orochimaru’s feet, cloak floating elegantly behind him as he sways down the path. Kakuzu allows himself a second to admire the view before catching up to the snake.

“Fine.” The edges of their sleeves brush as Kakuzu takes the lead, calling out behind him, “Rice Paddy, it is.”

“You’re the boss, Kakuzu-san.”

Orochimaru allows the hint of a smirk to grace his features, eyeing the set of his partner's broad shoulders, the line of his spine, and the places where he knows four mysterious masks are embedded in Kakuzu's flesh. They still have not had their talk, and if Kakuzu wants to dissemble, Orochimaru knows just how to handle it.

Rice Paddy Country is home, after all.

**Author's Note:**

> Another collaboration by[awintersrose ](https://awintersrose.tumblr.com) and [thatshipcat](https://thatshipcat.tumblr.com). 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading - we hope you had as much fun reading this as we did writing it! If you did enjoy the story, please drop us a line or hit the kudos button if you can? We have much more planned and your feedback is greatly appreciated <3
> 
> If you would like to stay updated on our future works, please follow us at [awintercat](https://awintercat.tumblr.com).


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